I listened to this prophet tell me to send the girl back to her father. Then he had the gall to say I should also send back the money and the animals I had won as well? Who did this fool think he was talking to - philosophers drunk on wine? If there really was a curse on the girl, then we should get rid of her, but the money, the coins, and jewels, those are mine.
"You expect me to return what I have gained? Who are any of you to tell me, Agamemnon, what to do? I rule over all Greeks. I have earned these things by my name and status. None of you are above me."
The assembled Greeks looked at me, most in fear of my rage. They were right to be afraid. Others looked on in awe at my might. Everyone seemed appropriately cowed, except for Achilles. He spent too much time fighting to use his brain and know his place.
Achilles spoke, "Why do you always claim so much? You sit here, cozy in your tent while we fight and die. You don't risk yourself, you don't lead from the front. Why should we even listen to you anymore if you won't risk what others do and won't share with those who take the risks?"
This Achilles brought men to fight, it's true. But he is far too outspoken. People are listening and watching. I cannot let this stand.
"You are not king here, Achilles. Since I cannot keep this cursed girl, I'll just take the one you have. It is my right as king to take what I like when I like. If you don't like that, I'll come take her, your life and your money."
Achilles stormed out of my tent after that. But everyone else seemed impressed with how I handled him. I'll send someone to collect that woman of his a little later. I hope he fights me about it. It will give me a great excuse to end him and take his gold and take over his ships. This turned out to be a pretty good day after all.
Image information: "Mosaic depicting Achilles confronting Agamemnon from the House of Apollo in Pompeii Roman 1st century BCE-1st century CE" by mharrsch is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
Author's Note: Story source: The Iliad retold by Alfred J. Church (1907).
I started with The Quarrel. Everyone is fussing at each other and you get a sort of overview of the whole situation. I wanted to write something from just one point of view and Agamemnon is such a character. I tried to write something that was more maybe what was going on in his head. It's a bit short and just part of the overall scene. I am also not trying to use a specific language type as far a modern/ancient/formal - I wanted to show Agamemnon as quite pleased with himself, despite how everything turns out in the end.
Hi, Eli!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the voice you chose to write in for this. It is 110% how I imagine Agamemnon would think to himself during this part of the story. He really is full of himself. Having him hope for the fight from Achilles as an excuse to kill him and take his property, as if he could, was a great touch.
For someone who hasn't read this story, why is it such a big deal for this girl to be given back? What does the curse do and why does it matter if it is gone? It may make this telling of the story a bit more impactful if we, the readers, understand why this quarrel is taking place at all. Why wasn't it a good day for Agamemnon to begin with?
You say that the assembled Greeks looked on in fear and awe at Agamemnon. If you wanted to really send that point home, perhaps you could add a line or two about some of them trembling or bowing. Maybe someone could verbally ask Achilles to hold his tongue lest he receive Agamemnon's rage. I know that didn't really happen originally but it could be an interesting bit to add.
Hey Eli, I loved what you did with "The Quarrel". I actually did my own retelling of Achille's point of view right after this fight between him and Agamemnon. It's funny because I did it in a diary style and yours seems to be kind of similar. It was really cool to see the opposing side's story of what I wrote about!
ReplyDeleteHey, Eli!
ReplyDeleteI loved your descriptions throughout your story! The way you set up the setting and described your characters really made it enjoyable to read. I feel like you went past the basic way of setting up of a story and transformed it in a way that fit the characters more, especially as you mentioned in your author's note that you wanted to get more into the character's head. I think by doing this you captured the essence of the story and characters more and made it a lot more enjoyable to read.
Well done!
Hey, Eli!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you told the story from Agamemnon's point of view, including both his dialogue and thoughts. It's an apt representation of his character and really draws readers into the story. I think it would've been helpful to people who didn't read the original story if you had included a bit more background information on the girl, but I think the way you illustrated the relationship between Agamemnon and Achilles was spot on and easy to interpret for any reader.